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this made me think of steve.... [Jul. 10th, 2006|10:27 pm]
The Stephen Knight Community

hearton4evets

[zerocoolphreak]
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris wears a live rattlesnake as a condom.

Chuck Norris invented the internet just so he had a place to store his porn.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

Chuck Norris' testicles do not produce sperm. They produce tiny white ninjas that recognize only one mission: seek and destroy.

Noah was the only man notified before Chuck Norris relieved himself in the Atlantic Ocean.

What many people don't know is Chuck Norris is the founder of planned parenthood. Not even unborn children can escape his wrath.

It is said that every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten. Every time God masturbates, Chuck Norris kills a lion.

When Chuck Norris goes to out to eat, he orders a whole chicken, but he only eats its soul.

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

There is in fact an "I" in Norris, but there is no team not even close.

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bed frames, and sidewalks.

Helen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

Once you go Norris, you are physically unable to go back.

Chuck Norris doesn't play god. Playing is for children.

As a teen, Chuck Norris had sex with every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: natetheoriginal
2006-07-11 02:03 pm (UTC)
Clap clap clap... YAH... Omg these made me laugh hard.
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